Posted in Couch Talks, Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Fiesta, Life Moments, Lifestyle, Tales of My Adventures

A Grinchy Christmas: overcoming loss and celebrating life again

A sweet and sour post, specially dedicated to lonely souls.

18/12/2020, a life recap.

As I was walking on the street today, I stopped at a traffic light to cross the road. I raised my head and looked around. Crowded shops, busy people, our town was bubbling. The queues waiting to enter stores or restaurants were endless. Pandemic or not, life must go on, it seems. I thought people might find it difficult to celebrate 2020’s festivities. Due to the Covid-19, we’re all a bit grinchy this year, but I guess human beings are good at adapting.

This year I really thought hard about how to celebrate Christmas. It’s not the first time I’ll be alone, but this year the feeling is different. I am ready for it.

When I looked at the happy people on the street, I thought: “Christmas is supposed to be a happy occasion, but it’s not always the case for everyone. There are some people somewhere who aren’t going through their best moment right now”.

Christmas celebrations made me reflect on the stages of life; it took me some years back.

When I was a kid, I really enjoyed the end-of-year celebrations. The gifts, the food, the cozy home atmosphere… Just like any child, I totally loved it. That’s the magic Christmas has, that special time of the year that we spend with the ones we love the most. A sacred period. It’s our society’s designated time to cut our hectic world some slack.

Well, it’s not exactly true every year. I remember, after that peaceful period of my childhood years, my family faced a stormy period due to one of our members’ serious illness. Then, the following end-of years, we faced death, the parting of a loved one. I was just a teen back then…

That’s when my feelings towards Christmas changed. “Arrrgh… It’s this time of the year, again. I hate Christmas so much! And all the new year festivities or what not. I wished the year would end quickly.” Hearing carols got on my nerves and decorations made my eyes itch. The allergy was severe…. I put extra effort in hiding in my room until the Christmas season was over and people stopped bothering me with their celebrations.

Many years have gone by, and our mourning has passed. We will never forget the hard memories, nor forget those who left us to a better world. Nonetheless, our hearts have healed since and we are stronger to continue the journey of life. After the tears, the living must go on living, they say.

Because of those past wounds, I always have on my mind people who have time during the Christmas season and New year. Whether it’s sickness, death, or any other difficult circumstance, my heart goes to them. Like a magic spark that flies in the wind, I hope my thoughts and sympathy can reach them. Like in cartoons, let us all gather some warmth and transmit it to them in these days, so that they receive the strength to make it through and come out victorious and stronger. Yes, the nightmare will end. Let’s say a prayer and light a candle for them. I’m sure people did it for my family too.

Back then, I cried so much that it felt like I was shedding tears of blood. I cried till my lacrimal glands emptied; my eyes got so stiff from the dryness. In those days, when people used to tell me that tomorrow would be a better day and that my tears would dry up one day, I was too torn to believe it. “Yeah, right. They’re just saying whatever to comfort me.” I hurt so much that I thought I would die too. When the pain pierces your heart through and through, it’s hard to believe.

Now I believe it. And I am more mature to smile at the future, no matter what happens.

I have survived my painful past, and I have grown into a beautiful adult. And now, I like Christmas again. Today, I was jumping on the streets like a deer, going from shop to shop and my eyes enlarged, all frenzy looking at the items. Gosh, everything was so nice and the stores smelled so good (I went to buy cosmetics). Oh, the divine fragrances! My lungs were so blessed today. Every woman has a shopping weakness; mine is expensive perfumes or similar scented products, aka exotic shower gels, shampoos, detergents or hand washes. (I bought three different hand washes today…)

Truthfully, as an expat living alone abroad, away from all family, I dread this year’s celebration a bit. (Last year I was sick with a bad flu so I wasn’t really in the state to worry about parties…). In past years it was harder, but I’m getting used to it now and I think I can pull it off. I used to get invited by friends to join their family celebrations, or  I “located” other friends who live alone like me and organize joint celebrations. This year I’ll skip. I’m in a “Home Alone” mood. I just feel like staying home. I’m going to break that everlasting law that says that we have to be agglutinated for Christmas. I just want good food this year…

Plot twist: I got invited by some friends last minute, and I couldn’t resist, Haha… I’ll be home alone only on the 24th on Christmas eve…

I’m planning to pamper me and spend lavishly on getting myself good food and nice gifts. I didn’t feel like decorating this year, so my house is as bare as it’s been all year long. I wanted to buy a little Christmas tree but I got lazy. I’m a foodie, so I’m going to invest in that instead. (There’s a particular Japanese menu that I’ve been targeting for these past weeks). There’s no issue in life that good food doesn’t solve.

I’m already planning the menu. I got inspired by Korean Mukbang videos on Youtube, so I’m thinking of organizing a virtual dinner with my family back in my country. (We did it for my birthday and it was great).

I guess I’m giving alternatives/  ideas to people who’ll be spending Christmas alone like me. I hope they are helpful. Hang in there. All depression,shoo! Be gone! Haha. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

Will I hate Christmas again in the future? I don’t know. If you love Christmas, I can relate with you. If you don’t love Christmas, I also relate with you. I have come to learn that it is not a celebration with a fixed pattern based on the sparkly, merry, ideal image that society has drawn for us. Christmas is different every year. Christmas is what you make of it personally. Your Christmas is you.

Others may be unaware of what you are going through, or they may be pushing you to celebrate as a way to forget your loss. Your Christmas doesn’t have to be happy because theirs is. Ride the tides, mourn, until you feel confident to smile again without having to fake it.

Bend, but do not break. Survive your loss, and let’s meet on the other side.

A grinchy Christmas to you!

Warm regards from a fellow life warrior. Forever overthinking, forever meditating,

Nuna Blomevi.

P.S.: I prepared a special song for you. Enjoy!💋

Posted in Couch Talks, Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Life Moments, Lifestyle, Tales of My Adventures, Work/Studies

Fighting against the odds: compete with yourself and win

Today’s meditations led me to this topic: fighting against circumstances.

We all have something that holds us back or stops us from getting to where we want to be or achieving certain desired results.

Personally, I mentally listed all the characteristics that, in my environment and my context, might not be in my favor. The perspective looks sinister. “I am a foreigner living in another country. My skin color demarcates me from others on the spot. No matter what I do, I remain an alien. Even more, though I have learnt the local language and fully adapted to the local cultures, the absence of the corresponding legal documents makes me unrecognised as part of the natives. I will always be ‘the one who came from another place’.

I am from a very small nation that many here do not even know exist. I went to a great school in the land where I come from, but since my nation is not known, my Cum Laude degree does not count. My physical features, my foreign name, my age, they all stand against me on my CV. Where the natives have it hard to get a job, I have to make a triple effort with no guarantee of success. In spite of my academic achievements and professional experiences, I never get chosen. I rather get discriminated against and at occasions people look down on me. When I am wronged because of my origins, many at times I cannot say anything, again because I am not from here and do not have any power in this foreign land.”

It’s easy to drown in discouragement and accept failure. “That’s how things are. That’s how the world works”. Yes, I could say that. It’s true that certain things don’t change no matter how hard we try and bump our heads against the wall.

Still, I want to give life my best shot. When I die, I will close my eyes without regrets and know that I have done my best. In case I don’t make it, I will still be remembered as the one who did all she could. Or maybe, things will work out for me. Why not?

This year, I did all sorts of crazy stuff I never imagined I would do as the risk-free and  highly “will-it-work”,“take-your-time”, “are-you-sure”, “did-you-think-through” person that I am. I started a blog, started a business, created a YouTube channel. At the last minute, I went back on my decision to return to my country where I planned to live a comfortable life with my family. Instead, I recently submitted my candidacy as a student representative in my university.  Part of me is saying: “You must be out of your mind! What have you gotten yourself into?” while the other part says: “Well done! It will take time and effort, but it will work. You won’t regret it!”. Truthfully, there are days where I just want to silence both voices and quietly go on with my life. I don’t know how things will turn out, but I’m glad I did something noteworthy with my existence. It will remain a special memory.

I don’t know what your limitations are. I don’t know what wall you are facing. Tonight, I want to give someone a bit of courage as we all strive and work hard to walk through this life with our heads lifted. Little by little, with wisdom and of course, integrity, let’s break free from what holds us down, step by step, and walk towards achieving our dreams. Yes, you failed before and might fail again. Keep trying. Yes, nobody cheers for you. Encourage yourself.  (And let me tell you a secret: I also got some encouragement from above). God has his ways of bringing us support, as well as the positive words we need to hear. He shows us the right path to follow and roots for us everyday.

Think about that great person you admire or that celebrity you’re jealous of. Do you think they had nothing holding them back? I’m pretty sure they were in the same situation as you and me: the roundabout of “all or nothing”, the turning point of “make or break”. I wonder what fear they left behind and what small steps they took in the past that converted them into legends today.

Is something keeping you from moving forward? There are different ways of dealing with an obstacle: either you remove it, or if you can’t, you go around it. Or if it’s very big, you keep on knocking and scratching it until it crumbles down. Think outside of the box, or create your own. What can you do to make the best out of what you have, and use your circumstances to your advantage?

December is, for me, a key month that represents both a start and an end. At some few days to the closing of the year, what big decision will you take that will propel you to the next level? The access to your success is within your reach. Will you let life pass you by?

I hope you take your leap of faith.

Farewell and see you in my next post!

Nuna Blomevi.

Posted in Character reveal, Identity and Culture, literary updates, Original Stories

Black Heroes: Character artwork for the miniseries “Three Expats and A Winter”

Hola CTTBies,

I hope you’re doing well!

Not so bad on my side. Except that winter is starting here in Spain and I’m not so excited about it. I hate the cold weather … Anyway, it doesn’t cut down my enthusiasm! Now, let’s get to the topic.

Except for my diary “A Writer Behind The Scenes”, I plan to have all my stories illustrated. Although I select and design the traits and physical features of the protagonists, I’m a terrible drawer. I use an app to create a simulation, then I ask a friend of mine to complete the drawings for me.

Today I wanted to share with you the characters I created for the miniseries “Three Expats and A Winter”. I’ve heard a lot that there were not enough black heroes, or drawings of African characters that people of black lineage could relate with. I agree as well. The main protagonists (Johnny, Martins and Malaika) each portray a different aspect of situations faced by people of color. In the future, I’ll design more characters to go with the episodes. I hope to not only raise awareness, but also to generate a positive impact that will bring out a positive change.

The complete Season 1 is uploaded on this website (click here to read).

First sketching

First poster

Second sketching

Second poster

Take good care, and see you in my next post!

Nuna Blomevi.

Posted in Fiesta

It’s a birthday post!😊😉

Hola CTTBies!

Wow… Today is my birthday, and as part of the celebration I would like to say a very big thank you to all of you!

Thanks for joining me in my beginnings as a blogger. It’s a special feeling to know that through this platform I can connect with so many special people from around the world!

We may be a few celebrating now, but next time, may we be thousands and thousands!

Gracias otra vez, y un abrazo fuerte! Warm regards,

Nuna.

P.S.: Now, it’s time for some cake and good food!

I was born to be a great person; I shall not disappoint that expectation. – Nuna Blomevi

Posted in Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Life Moments, literature, New book, Original Stories, psychology, Raising Awareness

Circumstances, Background and Intentions: the fine line between good and evil


Reference Book: “Unescorted”, by Nuna Blomevi. 2020 © All Rights Reserved.

Warning: This post tackles delicate issues. May cause difficult memories to resurface or triggers in people sensitive to the topic or with traumas.

Mercy… Lately I’ve been choosing very sensitive topics. Less K-drama talks, more serious content. I’m getting more ideas for the blog as I edit my books. Currently under rewriting, my novel Unescorted principally spans over two stages: the heroine’s teenage years and her beginnings as a young adult. Centered on her life in school and her interactions with other people as she grows up, I address in the plot certain issues that plague our modern society: bullying, emotional abuse, peer pressure, sexual harassment and loneliness.
Being a great fan of psychology, I like researching the possible reasons behind people’s actions. “What kind of thoughts were they having? What logic did they process to end up doing what they did”? Of course, having a background reason or a rational explanation doesn’t excuse wrong actions (between good and evil, we all have a choice to make). However, analyzing thought patterns may help in understanding or correcting certain behaviours. I’m not an expert yet, so I will leave the rest to the specialists…  For now, I am applying the knowledge acquired to build the background of my characters. Still, the social problems I mentioned above occur so often in real life. It made me reflect quite a lot…
Here are some aspects I considered while writing Unescorted (read the excerpt here). They are based on some common contexts perceived from different perspectives:

Case 1

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

“X” is a quiet person and a homebody. He/she is not into parties and loud activities. He/she’d rather read a book instead of hitting the dance floor. “Y” perceives “X”’s behaviour as “not normal”, boring, too reserved or not cool, and constantly seeks to drag him / her along when he/she goes to have fun. What is the fine line between being nosy, invasive or being  genuinely caring? Should his/her intentions be interpreted as wanting to improve “X”’s social life, or is he/she being forceful?

      “X”’s response could be:

“I should go once, maybe I’ll like it”.
“‘Y” is getting on my nerves, I’ll just go so that he/she stops bothering me”.
“I don’t want to go, but I don’t have the courage to tell “Y”. I feel intimidated.”

Case 2

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

As a guy, “W” seeks to show confidence when flirting. When making a move on a girl, he relies on the “signs” she seems to transmit to deduce if it’s a green light or a red light. (How she smiles, strokes her hair, or how she looks at him). “Should I get closer?”, “Will touching her make her feel attracted to me?”, “Is her ‘no’ a real ‘no’ or is she playing hard to get?”; “‘M’s girlfriend kept rejecting him at first but she ended up falling for him. Should I insist with this girl? Maybe she’s just being shy. I like her and I want to her to be mine.” He may get these four responses from his love interest depending on the case:

Possible reactions from Girl “Z”:

“I like this guy. How should I let him know? Maybe I should try to get closer”.
“I don’t like him… Or maybe I like him a little bit? I said no, but I actually meant yes. I don’t want him to think I’m easy.”
“Let me play with him a little and see how it goes.”
“I don’t like him at all. I’ll tell him to get lost.”

Now here come the questions. This is not about judging between right or wrong, between good and evil. Moreover, there is an infinity of variables to be taken into account. The mood, the venue, the context, the relationship between the protagonists…

Photo by The Humantra on Pexels.com

All of them probably have their own way of thinking which will determine their decision.  “X” may cede to “Y” and follow him/her to a party. Whether he continues to go or not is his/her choice. Does that make him/her a pushover? Or: he may also stand his/her grounds and not go at all. Does that make him/her antisocial, inflexible or stuck-up?

“Y” may choose to keep insisting, and become pushy or nosy. Or, he/she may choose to respect “X”’s decision and let him/her be.  

Based on his “interpretations” of those supposed “signs”, “W”’s choice to keep pursuing a girl may turn him into a pervert, a jerk or get him the girl he wants if she finally says yes. What is the limit between flirting and sexual harassment? Depending on her response, he may get slapped, leave the girl disgusted, or get himself a girlfriend. It is his responsibility to know when to stop and not impose himself if she said no.
From one scenario to another, we wonder: how will the story end? I’m sure there are various answers crossing our minds. Beyond the novel’s context, these are situations we’ve heard of or that we faced in real life. I didn’t mention more serious scenarios because they are too delicate. “Why did “XY” murder “YZ”?” or, “why did “XY” mistreat “YZ” ?” Maybe I’ll write about them in the future if I start a thriller…

Nowadays, literature, movies, art etc provide a lot of backstories to explain the reasons behind the characters’ actions. The new tendency is “why the villain became a villain”. It’s not bad. But it made me recall certain court rulings that used the same principle. You might have also thought of one that marked you… Based on how the circumstances of the crime were explained, the law was used to a certain advantage. Some assaillants were said to have had “a moment of weakness” or to suffer sequels from a troubled past. Their victims “happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time” or were said to have somewhat triggered the criminal. However, the culprits didn’t suffer from any serious pathology except that “they were not themselves” or “they lost it for a minute”. That lapse was enough to destroy someone’s life. The victim is already hurt, but also blames his/herself from not having been able to escape. The feeling is even worse if there is no sign of repentance or if justice was never made.

Understanding circumstances or intentions behind actions may be good, but too much explanation shouldn’t cloud common sense. The facts can’t be changed: someone wronged another person. The person who was wronged wants things to be corrected, not explained. No matter how many turns the story is given.

Real life isn’t a novel, so it’s important to think through. And read between the lines. “How should I react in this situation?”, “Why am I doing this?”, “Is what I am doing hurtful to me or to another person in any way?”. Tick, Tock, count to three (at least). Let the heart express loud enough the intentions behind the actions. It may be time to hold back, or time to flee. Depending on our position and circumstances, (whether we are in X, Y, W or Z’s shoes) these golden rules might be helpful while considering our next move: “Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t like to be done to you” or “I don’t feel comfortable with this person, and I think this is a good time to run away”.

My original topic for this post was “Peer Pressure / Sexual Harassment: When your ‘no’ is forced to become a ‘yes’.” As I was typing, I felt like I should go deeper and deeper, and I got us into this meditation on good, evil and choices. Maybe that’s how strong the influence of intentions is.

(Image taken from http://www.thejadedmage.com/ No copyright infringements intended)
Posted in literary updates, literature, New book, Original Stories, webnovel

Chekhov’s gun, Harry Potter’s magic, Grimm’s longevity and Freud’s science

The magic literary sauce

Recently I have been researching writing techniques to spice up my novels. I’ve always said: if you want to become grand like your references who are successful, follow the steps that they took to get where they are. Apply the tips that worked for them and avoid the mistakes they commited. Our lives are too short to waste time experimenting. As I mentioned in one of the chapters of my diary “A Writer Behind The Scenes”, becoming a great author is not based only on talent, but comes by being humble to learn. (It’s also applicable in any other field). I love this quote from Cindy Trimm: “Your attitude determines your altitude”.

So far I’ve come across these great ingredients:

  • Chekhov’s gun

Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.

I discovered this concept by chance while I was watching some short writing tutorials on Youtube (links at the end of the page) so I searched it on Wikipedia (read more on Chekhov’s gun.)

It has helped me to be more selective. Sometimes as an author, there is so much one wants to say; but it’s also important to learn how to appropriately transmit the relevant information to the readers, not just a word salad we understand ourselves.  I’m learning to avoid unnecessary details, but also to maintain a certain consistency in my plots.

  • Harry Potter’s magic and Grimm’s longevity

I am a great fan of Harry Potter… I completely devoured the story, the creativity is brilliant and the concept is innovative. I also love tales, especially those written by the Grimm brothers. They’ve accompanied me throughout my childhood until now. Aside from the fantasy component that I’m greatly fond of (which turned into my favourite genre as the years went by), I started to consider their tales from a more mature point of view. What made them transcend time, overcome the blackhole of oblivion and leave a steady legacy for 200 years? Their biography is so rich, I’m just starting to learn.

Now that I intend to take writing seriously, I am evolving from being an ardent fan/ reader to becoming a disciple.  I hope my own stories (Tales of Dreamland for example) will benefit from this admirable heritage.

Check the link I read: “What made Harry Potter so successful

  • Freud’s science

I am interested in Psychology as a science, so I do a lot of research on that field. In literature, I am a great fan of psychology novels, webtoons, series, korean dramas etc, whether it’s the main component or it’s combined with other genres.… “It’s okay, that’s love”, “Dr Frost”, “Yumi’s Cells”, “It’s Ok To Not Be Okay” etc… Any story that talks about how thoughts are processed or how the mind functions is my cup of tea. Although the title may suggest so, I don’t focus on Freud only but I research on the whole field in general. I just chose his name because he’s one of the most famous pionners.

As a writer, it’s a necessary ingredient that I add to my plots (my novel Unescorted is full of psychological allusions). It helps me define the characters’ traits and therefore make the story more understandable. It also helps to engage the audience in empathizing or relating with them, therefore making the plot more captivating. More importantly, I don’t want my stories to be only for entertainment or to pass time. Through them, I wish to raise awareness, transmit healing and cause my readers to reflect.

I hope you enjoyed these tips! What were your favourites, and why? And which other ones would you suggest? Let me know in the comments below!

Posted in literature, New book, Original Stories

Book excerpts – “Unescorted” (I)

Hello CTTBies! I trust you’ve been doing great!

As I announced it some days ago, today I’ll be posting an excerpt from the books I’m currently working on. I wondered which of them to post. These days, I feel inspired to blog about self-discovery and self-acceptance (click here to read the article) so I decided to go with my novel titled “Unescorted”. For those who haven’t heard about it, I had uploaded some of the chapters before. Notwithstanding, I wasn’t satisfied with the story and I’m currently rewriting it. All my apologies; I’m not a pro yet so it’s taking me some time. I’m also doing a lot of research to upgrade it from an amateur version to something a bit more polished. The final copy will be ready in early 2021. However, I’m too excited to keep the story to myself so I’ll be sharing some of my favorite parts. Like I always insist, my focus is not only on making the completed works available, but on the process as well. I don’t have much back-up yet so I have very little feedback. I’m learning the ropes by myself so I’d like to preserve these memories and experiences as a rookie.

I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Unescorted

Author: Nuna Blomevi. Copyright © 2020, All Rights Reserved

Keywords: Friendship, Sismance, University, Psychology, Social life, Young Adult, Chick-Lit

Summary: Sometimes, a lost friendship hurts more than a break-up.

As a recent highschool graduate, Tegan is a young adult who freshly enrolled into university.  Being an only child, her top goal is to find the ultimate best friend. Her previous attempts didn’t go too well, but she is still expectant to have better chances now that she is more mature and is entering a new environnement. She would soon be aware that building a perfect friendship was more arduous than she thought… Will she be able to adapt to her new life on campus, and will she find the friend she’s looking for?

Chapter 5:

Lies and Snares

When a guy tells a girl “Come over for some Netflix and chill”, she can suspect what he’s up to. But, when it’s her best friend who says that, she knows they’re only going to watch a movie.  However… Tegan was going to realise that there can be “plans behind plans”.

***

Tegan had heard of their bad reputation, but it was already late and the house was far so she couldn’t go home. Also, she was counting on Suri’s presence, (though she had proven to be somehow biased and unreliable in backing her up) to prevent any “possible” unfortunate events from happening.

The night felt like forever and the hours were going too slow for her. She waited in torture for the first ray of dawn light to pierce the dark sky.  She couldn’t sleep at all on the bed, and finally ended up lying on the sofa in the living room.  Why? Because of Anton who kept making allusions all along and finally groped her at some point.  Thankfully, it ended up as a stupid joke, but it wasn’t funny at all for Tegan.

***

Chapter 8:

The will to move on

Tegan came to learn a great lesson from this unfortunate long term event: it’s important to treasure oneself, and not to allow oneself to be disregarded by others with the excuse of wanting to be a good person; they wouldn’t value it anyway.  On the other hand: you can also make new friends, even better than the previous ones. She couldn’t quite remember where she heard the following encouraging words but they helped her a great deal to overcome that separation: “One day, we will all meet nice people who will love us as we are and treat us well”. Who knows, maybe it was the Universe sending her support and guidance.   

Chapter 14:

Learning new parameters: I didn’t know I could also hurt someone

Being an only child and having had only one close friend for a long time, Tegan wasn’t really the best with social skills. Amber and Jazmine were the first to tell her certain hard truths.

They came to see her in her room one day, saying they wanted to chat with her. Tegan was a bit perplexed because the atmosphere was a bit weird, and also because they came as a pair. In fact, she was anxiously wondering what they wanted to tell her.

  • Hmmm… Tea, you know, we really love you and cherish you, ok? But there are some things that we weren’t really happy about so we wanted to tell you how we felt.

***

Sorry… they’re quite short, but I’d like to keep you intrigued, hehe.

Besides, I’ll be posting some chapters from my other books. It’ll probably be my psychology fantasy novel titled “Tales of Dreamland”. It’s almost finished as well; just a few chapters to add and that’s it! Since it’s a tale, I’d like it to be illustrated and very colourful. For that purpose I asked a friend to draw some of the main characters and main scenes. The full book will also be available in 2021, though I’ll upload excerpts here and provide some BTS.

Well, that’ll be all for today! It’s late but I want to watch one or two episodes of Kdrama before going to bed. Goodnight, and see you in my next post!

Nuna Blomevi.

P.S.: Don’t forget to like and share this post with your friends, and follow CTTB on social media. Thanks!  

ありがとうございます, 皆さん!

감사합니다, 여러분!

Lol, I’m not sure about the above, so let me stick to the ones I’m fluent in: Gracias a todos; Merci à tous; Vielen dank, Leute!

Posted in Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Life Moments

A Journey to Self-Discovery

a.k.a: A tale of Introspection

What happens when you don’t like being you?

(……)

The question may sound brutal, but it’s a good occasion for a reality check. Some of us don’t like who we are, and we turn to others to define us. Meanwhile, they don’t know themselves either, and what they let you see is a poor version they’ve put together from copying traits of other people.

Authenticity.

I never fully realized the importance of that term until now. 

During the Covid-19 quarantine I wrote a novel titled “Unescorted”. The story revolves around Tegan, a young adult who freshly graduated from high school and enrolled into university. The plot unfolds on how she adapts to her new life, and more importantly, how she tries to fit in and enlarge her social circle. Being an only child, her top goal is to find the ultimate best friend.

 It’s the first novel I’ve completed since I started writing. I had even uploaded the chapters here and on Wattpad. However, as I was editing, I wasn’t completely convinced so I took them down. It felt as if something was missing from the story, and a huge detail at that. What could it possibly be? I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Four months after I considered the story done, I went through a particular experience that made me realize what the novel was lacking: character. Maybe I should add that Tegan couldn’t blend in because, truthfully, she didn’t really like herself? 

Bam! I caught the revelation. I think this song expresses her feelings so well:

In my personal life, ever since I was little, I heard a lot that I was too different, too quirk. Personality-wise and creativity-wise, I couldn’t fit in the same box as other kids so I felt lonely. As I grew up, when I interacted with others, my thoughts were often way ahead of time. Some people were uncomfortable around me, some were intimidated. Some found me weird, and others, interesting; but afterwards, the “newish”, entertaining impression I gave them faded. My ideas were considered creative but too far-fetched or bizarre, and many at times they were tossed aside. I’ve been misrepresented and my words misinterpreted on various occasions. “That’s not who I am”, “That’s not what I meant”: I’ve felt the urge to explain myself many times. I began accepting that maybe, they were right and that there was something wrong with me. I didn’t know what to do with all that imagination I had inside me. I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to hear those distorted perceptions about me anymore. It caused me to create a façade, a patched-up personality made of “socially accepted traits” that would adhere to “other people’s standards”. I wouldn’t speak my mind even when I felt wronged, or I wouldn’t voice my opinion or ideas, because I’d seen too many times that people didn’t take them into consideration.This went on for years. 

However, one day I got to know a preacher and motivational speaker called Cindy Trimm. She often talks about how to live authentically and how to put the talents that God has given us to use. I can’t ever finish to describe the huge impact she had on me. I began to accept myself more and live more authentically without being “others-dependent”. I got a bit better, but recently went through a relapse due to certain interpersonal conflicts. They made me question myself again: “Why am I the way I am?”, “Why can’t I be more like others?”. 

Then, the recent experience I mentioned earlier made me realize this: “No matter how hard you try to fix yourself, you can’t get everybody to like you. Stop sabotaging yourself as if you’re the worst human being out there, when you’re not even a criminal. The others you consider so highly at your own expense also have flaws. Moreover, people have the right to like or dislike you; in the same way, you also have the right to like or dislike them”.

Of course, it’s wrong to be too self-centered or pompous. Besides, nobody is perfect, and it’s also important to be open to receive correction or learn from others. However, when you depend so much on external points of views that you’re not yourself anymore, then there’s a problem. There is a fine line between being open-minded and being too conscious of other people’s opinions, or between being a considerate person or a pushover.

It took me years to learn to know myself, my good points, my weak points, what I have to let go or what I have to improve. Nonetheless, I’ve decided to stop wasting time on that never-ending cycle of fixing and refixing myself to blend in. I’m going to put my talents to use and make a positive impact on this world. Keeping that in mind, in the years to come, I hope the future me will look back and tell me that I did a good job.

This makes me recall a great analogy I heard (though I can’t remember where exactly):  as far as social relations are concerned, we are like numbers on a dice. To some people, we are number one. To others, we are number six. Those numbers are different facets seen from different perspectives and circumstances. What I learnt from that metaphor: people’s opinions are extremely versatile, they change their minds as easily as sea waves crash on a shore.The important thing is not the numbers, but the dice. 

I hope that, just like in this last song, we find the answer we need and we make peace with ourselves.

What about you? Have you ever experienced a similar situation? How did you overcome it? Let me know in the comments below!💖

Now to end on a warmer note:😊

Posted in Non classé

The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Bloggers — The Art of Blogging

To read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Bloggers click here. Ever wondered how we learn a new skill? For instance, how does a baby learn to walk? Do they do it perfectly from the first try? Of course not. They fail. Over and over again. Learning, you see, is not about getting things right, […]

The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Bloggers — The Art of Blogging
Posted in literary updates, Tales of My Adventures, webnovel

Nuna’s next projects: Book excerpts

A quick peek into my stories

Hola CTTBies!

It’s your cherished Nuna, I’m back after letting Corner join last week. I hope he didn’t make any mistakes, that little brat can be a nuisance sometimes (that was an affectionate comment from me, lol). In any case, I’m taking over for now.

I wanted to share with you about my website and what I’ll be publishing. Initially, it was supposed to be webnovel platform where I would be uploading the stories I’m writing, chapter by chapter, episode by episode. It works just like Wattpad or Webtoon (if you use those platforms, you will understand what I mean). The only difference is that it’s a personal space for my own books; for the moment there are no other authors, unless I get special guests.

On another day I’ll create a special page to explain how to browse through my website.

I was super eager to upload the complete stories (I started some of them in high school). But… I wrote them on paper, so I have a lot to type. Back then I was just scribbling for fun, I didn’t think I’d be creating a webnovel in the future, lol. Moreover, I don’t like some of the old versions. There’s also quite some editing and cross-checking to do. I was just writing as an amateur and I didn’t pay much attention, hehe. Now, I plan to turn my hobby into my future career. In my diary “A Writer Behind The Scenes“, I mention that I recently realized that becoming a successful author was my hidden dream. This quarantine was of benefit to some of us, to some extent…

Since I have great ambitions, I intend to improve and present to the world books that are of quality. I have a really looong way to go. The problem is, I have to work so it’s a bit hard to balance my job and writing. Nonetheless, one has to start somewhere to get anywhere. For that purpose, I will be sharing my process with you. Aside from “A Writer Behind the Scenes” where I narrate specific experiences or fun anecdotes I go through as a noob, I’ll be uploading excerpts of the books I’m working on. If you’re new to the job like me and wants to learn, feel free to join me! And if you’re an experienced professional, I’d be glad and grateful if you could share some tips with me.

By the way, I’m fluent in three languages (French, English and Spanish) so I usually write in those three according to how I feel, (mostly in English though). But don’t worry; for your rescue, the Google Translate widget is available at the end of the page! (Please scroll down).

Thanks for accompanying me on my journey!

With love from your favourite rookie writer,

Nuna Blomevi.

Wanna know more about Nuna and Corner? Follow us on social media!